Fall has fallen

Is it me or did October fly by?

I’m not liking this “time moves faster as you get older” thing.  It’s very upsetting.

It’s been one of those months here at Casa de Pam.  I was sick for the first two weeks with the “is it swine flu or just a cold” cold.  Life is alway a bit on the miserable side when you feel like every ounce of moisture from your body is escaping through your nose.  I’ve also been working a lot more.  I was retained by one of my clients for a second project on top of the project I’m currently working on.  This makes me (and my landlord) happy.

I joined Weight Watchers for the zillionth time and, of course, stopped counting points after day one.  Bad Bad Pam.  I am jumping back on the bandwagon this weekend.  Saturday is my weigh in day – will be a good time to start back.   I’ve had to go into work this week and I’m running out of pants.  In the size I’m wearing, I only have three pairs.  The good news is that I’m super close to fitting into the next size down – where I have about 10 pairs of pants.  In November, I have to be onsite at my client’s office for two weeks.  Keep your fingers cross that I’m down a size with my plethora of pants.

I also got Brian Setzer Orchestra tickets for his Christmas Show in December.  Hurrah!  I haven’t been to a concert or a show all year and am having major withdrawals.  I haven’t seen the BSO since December 2007.  BTW:  Brian Setzer is seriously one of the hottest men on the planet.

We are in the throes of USC Football (Beat the Beavers).  We had that one little lapse with Washington but have managed to stay in the AP Top 10.  I think we are at #4 now.  Fight On!

Not much else today.  One more day of being at my client site this week.  Then I can go back to sleeping in!  With the weather so cold and snuggly in the morning, it has been really hard to get out of bed.

Divorciversary

Today is the first anniversary of the day I thought my world was ending.

Instead of a year that was to include starting a family – I spent the year filling out forms and doing battle with the local courts who apparently can’t read blue ink and arbitrarily hand draw lines on forms so they can send them back to you insisting that you “forgot” to sign appropriately.

I also had to work no less than 20 feet away from the person whom I went between loving and loathing – listening to him have all too public conversations with the woman he was and had been seeing.   He got transferred one week before our divorce was final.

I spent the year trying to get the paperwork done and to not focus on the fact that I had to reimagine how my life.   The possibilities were endless and overwhelming.

Now, one year out, I’m in such a better place.  Once I got over the “shock and awe”,  I realized that God had done me a favor.   I had been miserable being married – always on eggshells due to a husband that had the maturity level of a toddler.  No matter what I did, it wasn’t good enough and the only happiness that mattered was his.   Knowing what I know now, I can honestly say that I look back at my marriage as a supreme waste of 6 years.  What a shame.

The only light was getting to know his family.  They are a wonderful group of people and I’m glad that we are still in touch.

Wisely, I spent the last year getting to know myself.    My crazy, quirky self.  I rediscovered my likes and dislikes, how I feel about things and am once again comfortable and happy in my own skin. I have amazing family and friends who rallied around me, gave me all the support I needed and I’ve been told that they are happy to see “me” again.

For anyone thinking about divorce, let me tell you that it is scary as hell and will put you through a rollercoaster of emotions.  But, my experience is that it is WAY better than staying in an unhappy marriage.  There is happiness and peace on the other side.

This will be the first and last divorciversary I mention.  It’s done, over, finito.

I’m on to bigger and better!

What I was doing on 9/11

Everyone seems to be writing about where they were on 9/11 so I thought I’d jump on the bandwagon.

I remember it clear as day.  My boyfriend (now ex-husband) had spent the night and was asleep.  I had gotten up to get ready for work and turned the TV on while I was ironing.  A “Breaking News” item came through that one of the twin towers was on fire.

I remember thinking how much that would suck when Peter Jennings came on the broadcast.  Something about the fire being caused by a plane.

All of a sudden, a second plane appeared.  I remember Jennings saying “Is that plane going towards the second tower?”.  With horror, I watched it crash into the second tower.

I woke up Matt.  He saw the look on my face and knew something was wrong.  I could only blurt out that some just flew a plane into the World Trade Center.

We sat there in disbelief.  Then the plane flew into the Pentagon.   Then came the rumors that downtown LA was next.   At the time, I had to drive through downtown to get to work.  I called work and said I was too upset to come in.

After we calmed down a bit, Matt & I went to IHOP for breakfast.  Pasadena was so quiet.  There were a lot of families – kids and parents not in school or work – in IHOP.   Like we all just needed to get away.

Two years ago, Matt  & I went to the site of the World Trade Center.  They were clearing out the area, making room for the memorial and new buildings.  It just felt grim there.  Then we went to the temporary memorial.  What got me was the room with all of the pictures of the loved ones that died.  Especially the benches and boxes of Kleenex for those still in grief.

I don’t think there is any way that we can forget what happened that day.

bnwhut9j2x

Happy 4th of July!

I’m so out of it this year, I realized the other day that it was going to be the 4th.  Apparently there was a parade through the main street of my town this morning – I saw the port-a-potties last night.  I’ve lived there for 4 fourth of july parades and I’ve never made it.  Next year, perhaps.

As you can tell I’m ho-hum about the holiday.  I mean, woo-hoo, proud to be an american is all but I think I’ve reached that age of longing for how things used to be.

I remember we would get a pile of “Safe & Sane” fireworks and the whole neighborhood would be outside lighting things up.  BBQs, the whole nine yards.  Some years we would go up to my grandparent’s house in No Cal and light fireworks, go fishing and have homemade banana ice cream.  Real Norman Rockwell type stuff.

This year, I went to breakfast and the movies (Public Enemies – long and boring) with my mom, then took a nap and now I’m settled in, watching reruns of tv shows on hulu.com and about to start working for the rest of the night.   I may hear fireworks somewhere.

I feel like next year I need to travel to some small town with fireworks and a small town parade.

Or maybe I could go to Disneyland.

*sigh*

Anyway, back to work.

Happy 4th of July.

God Bless America.

Happy Father’s Day

In memory of the coolest dad ever:

I miss you.

Happy Father’s Day to all of the other fathers out there

including my little bro

My reflections on Prop 8 and North Korea

Yesterday was one of those days where the world seemed to have just gone crazy.

First, at 10am, the country got the news that the California Supreme Court had:

a) Upheld Prop. 8 (anti-gay marriage)

b) Upheld the gay marriages that were performed prior to election day (about 18,000 marriages)

Regarding Point a:  The knee jerk reaction was to call the CA Supreme Court a bunch of wusses (like I did).  It took the rational voice of my cousin to remind me that the point was to determine the legality of Prop 8, not to overturn it because it sucks.

So in that case the CA Supreme Court did its job.  I think the proposition itself is unethical but it isn’t illegal.

On Point B:  The 18,000 gay marriages that took place prior to election day were upheld because there was no provision in Prop 8 to revoke those marriage licenses.  For the CA Supreme Court to make that decision it would have been a “ruling from the bench”.  So in that case again, it did it’s job.

This has created a mess.  Now the state of CA has two classes of gays:  ones with civil rights and ones without.  I can only imagine the legal issues this is going to spark.  The fact that this is happening makes me sick to my stomach.

For those of you who voted for Prop 8, what would you do if your son or daughter came to you and said they were gay?   Voting for this is stating – I love you, but you are a lesser person than me and you don’t deserve the rights I enjoy.

Everyone for Prop 8 keeps talking about how they had the majority.  Well yes, that is true, but it was only a 4% majority.  That is hardly overwhelming.

So now we have to act.  We need to another proposition on the ballot in 2010.  We need to speak, respectfully, to those who don’t agree with gay marriage and try to persuade them over to our side.

Now on to North Korea.

I’ve been watching the news for the last week or so regarding NK.  They have been test launching short-range missiles and even performing an underground nuclear bomb test.

Last night, South Korea joined the PSI – a program participated in by 90 countries to stop the spread of banned weapons technology.  North Korea is not specifically targeted but the coast around the country is one being watched by this group.  South Korea has stayed away from joining this group (started in 2003) so that they wouldn’t piss off North Korea.

Now North Korea has stated that South Korea joining the PSI is tantamount to a “declaration of war” and that it doesn’t have to abide by the 1953 armistice.    It is threatening to attack US and South Korean warships off its coast and this morning Russia stated that it fears that this could escalate to a Nuclear War.

Apparently, this is all because NK is pissed that the world is trying to limit/stop its production of nuclear weapons.

Hmmm.

It seems to me that these threats don’t help its case very much..

Technorati Tags: Prop 8,North Korea

Should it be “Happy” Memorial Day?

I’m looking at today’s twitter & Facebook posts and the phrase “Happy Memorial Day” is really bothering me.

Really?  Is it “Happy”?

Probably most people are just excited to have a three day weekend.  This is typically thought of as the start of summer (ending with Labor Day).  There is much talk of going to the beach, having BBQs, going to the movies.

There is less talk about the actual purpose of Memorial Day – to honor the US men and women who have died as a result of their military service.

Now, I’m just as glad to have a day off as anyone but I feel like the purpose of this day has been lost.

Some History of Memorial Day:

• It was originally known as Decoration Day; a day set aside to decorate the graves of Civil War soldiers
• It was originally celebrated on May 30th, but congress changed that to be the “last Monday in May” in 1971
• Waterloo, NY is the official birthplace of Memorial Day – proclaimed by President Johnson
• After WWI, Memorial Day included observances for all of the Wars, not just the Civil War.

To all our fallen soldiers, God Bless.

(all facts from http://www.history.com/content/memorial/the-history-of-memorial-day)

(Photo courtesy of US Army.  Photo by Kathleen T. Rhem. April 30, 2007)

A new low in television.

This week one of my favorite TV Shows, Reaper, was cancelled from the CW lineup.   I don’t know how it did overall in the ratings but it was a fun and highly entertaining show that I have watched faithfully over the last two years.  Next week is it’s season and now, series, finale.

As a summer replacement, the CW next Tuesday will be launching a new reality series called “Hitched or Ditched.”  I just saw the commercial (sadly during last night’s DVRd episode of Reaper) and from what I’ve read, this is the premise:

A friend nominates a couple that have been together for a long time.  If the couple agrees, they have one week to plan a wedding.  At the time of the wedding, at the altar, the couple decides whether to go through with it or break up. 

Don’t get me started on how famewhoring the couples are that agree to be in this show.

I don’t know why having this show on the air pisses me off so much.  I’ve had a divorce so I’m not exactly the leading expert on successful marriages but at least I realize that marriage is serious.  What gives these friends the right to decide that a couple needs to get married?   What kind of people are the couples that agree to this?  What kind of television station thinks that breaking up probably, perfectly happy couples is entertainment?

So, thank you CW, for discarding a show that was actually entertaining and didn’t cause harm to people and replacing it with this garbage.

Technorati Tags: CW,Hitched or Ditched,Television

Thank you Californians!

FT.com / US / Politics & Foreign policy – Schwarzenegger setback expected on budget.

I must admit, I totally forgot that today was election day for these propositions.  Thank god that they (except for the 1F) didn’t pass.  Not only did they not pass but from the graphs on the LA times home page – they REALLY didn’t pass.

Finally people are starting to do something to tell our government that we are tired of footing the bill for their incompetence.  We need to get those people out of there quickly and put in people that have a sense of ethics and who have taken basic finance and accounting classes.