Overwatering? Not hot enough? Too hot?  Pot not big enough?

No idea.

I do have 5 tomatoes hanging on for dear life.

Don’t get excited.  The bottom tomato has been eaten by some creature.

It was a nice experiment but I’m thinking that a girl that can kill a cactus probably has no business dabbling with vegetables.

Step 1:  Pull the husk back, pull out the silks, pull up the husks and tie with twine to keep husk together.  I didn’t have any twine so I made aluminum foil wraps.

Step 2:  Let corn soak in a pot for 30 minutes to 2 hours

Step 3:  Put soaked corn on the BBQ  (Along with all the other yummy stuff).  Keep corn section on high heat.

(Add BBQ sauce to meat)

Step 4:  Turn corn every few minutes as the husks start to burn.

(After all the meat was taken off, I moved the corn around to grill it for a while longer)

Step 5:  Take it off the grill and put it all in a big bowl

Step 6:  Enjoy!!!  (it was SOOOOO good!)

When I do it again… I’m totally putting the corn on the grill for a longer time.  Only parts of it got grill marks.

Yay for Corn!!!

My first stop was to pick out my vegetables.  I decided on Beefsteak tomatoes and squash.

Then I had to pick out the appropriate size pots.  I had no idea, so I called Carol with my pot size emergency and she totally came through.  (12 inch diameter for tomatoes, I got 8 inch pots for each squash plant)

After that it was off to get potting soil.  Did you know that there is different potting soil for in-ground vs container gardening?   I may have just figured out why everything I plant dies.  (the forgetting to water thing probably doesn’t help much either)

Then I was ready to go!

It took me a day or so to plant, but my purchases went from this:

To this:

With a little bit of this:

I went to see my endocrinologist today for my normal 3 month follow up visit.  My blood sugars have been out of control for the last few months (admittedly, my fault).   Yesterday, I started a new medication (non-diabetic) that can have an impact on my blood sugars so I decided that it was time I got my shit together – eat better and exercise.

I was going to tell her my plan and ask to a) not increase my insulin doses and b) see a nutritionist/diabetes manager.

Apparently, not a good plan.

As soon as she saw my A1C she immediately decided that I needed more insulin.  So I told her what I’d rather do and in this pouty voice she said “Well, I guess I can offer you no advice.  Do what you want and see me when you feel like it.”

OK…what?

She actually got up to leave.  I stalled her and asked her what was wrong with holding off for a few months so I could see if my actions could have a positive impact on my dosing and this was her response:

“Diet and Exercise play a very minimal role in managing diabetes.  You need to just keep increasing your insulin until your levels are normal.  I don’t care if you take 1000 units a day.”

Again…what?

First of all, since I’ve been diabetic, it’s been the mantra of my doctors – Diet & Exercise, Diet & Exercise.  You read on the internet about the importance of diet & exercise in managing blood sugars.  You hear about people that were seriously dependent on insulin who, through diet and exercise, were able to go off of insulin completely.  But my doctor is telling me that those two things are insignificant.

I don’t think so.

Secondly, aren’t doctors supposed to try to work to put you on as little meds as possible?  I’m not too happy that the first and only response is to up the meds.   Granted, if I don’t see results by the next time I see her, I will happily increase my meds.

So I have another appointment with her in a few months.  Depending on how it goes, I might be in the market for a new endocrinologist.

I’m not liking this “time moves faster as you get older” thing.  It’s very upsetting.

It’s been one of those months here at Casa de Pam.  I was sick for the first two weeks with the “is it swine flu or just a cold” cold.  Life is alway a bit on the miserable side when you feel like every ounce of moisture from your body is escaping through your nose.  I’ve also been working a lot more.  I was retained by one of my clients for a second project on top of the project I’m currently working on.  This makes me (and my landlord) happy.

I joined Weight Watchers for the zillionth time and, of course, stopped counting points after day one.  Bad Bad Pam.  I am jumping back on the bandwagon this weekend.  Saturday is my weigh in day – will be a good time to start back.   I’ve had to go into work this week and I’m running out of pants.  In the size I’m wearing, I only have three pairs.  The good news is that I’m super close to fitting into the next size down – where I have about 10 pairs of pants.  In November, I have to be onsite at my client’s office for two weeks.  Keep your fingers cross that I’m down a size with my plethora of pants.

I also got Brian Setzer Orchestra tickets for his Christmas Show in December.  Hurrah!  I haven’t been to a concert or a show all year and am having major withdrawals.  I haven’t seen the BSO since December 2007.  BTW:  Brian Setzer is seriously one of the hottest men on the planet.

We are in the throes of USC Football (Beat the Beavers).  We had that one little lapse with Washington but have managed to stay in the AP Top 10.  I think we are at #4 now.  Fight On!

Not much else today.  One more day of being at my client site this week.  Then I can go back to sleeping in!  With the weather so cold and snuggly in the morning, it has been really hard to get out of bed.

Instead of a year that was to include starting a family – I spent the year filling out forms and doing battle with the local courts who apparently can’t read blue ink and arbitrarily hand draw lines on forms so they can send them back to you insisting that you “forgot” to sign appropriately.

I also had to work no less than 20 feet away from the person whom I went between loving and loathing – listening to him have all too public conversations with the woman he was and had been seeing.   He got transferred one week before our divorce was final.

I spent the year trying to get the paperwork done and to not focus on the fact that I had to reimagine how my life.   The possibilities were endless and overwhelming.

Now, one year out, I’m in such a better place.  Once I got over the “shock and awe”,  I realized that God had done me a favor.   I had been miserable being married – always on eggshells due to a husband that had the maturity level of a toddler.  No matter what I did, it wasn’t good enough and the only happiness that mattered was his.   Knowing what I know now, I can honestly say that I look back at my marriage as a supreme waste of 6 years.  What a shame.

The only light was getting to know his family.  They are a wonderful group of people and I’m glad that we are still in touch.

Wisely, I spent the last year getting to know myself.    My crazy, quirky self.  I rediscovered my likes and dislikes, how I feel about things and am once again comfortable and happy in my own skin. I have amazing family and friends who rallied around me, gave me all the support I needed and I’ve been told that they are happy to see “me” again.

For anyone thinking about divorce, let me tell you that it is scary as hell and will put you through a rollercoaster of emotions.  But, my experience is that it is WAY better than staying in an unhappy marriage.  There is happiness and peace on the other side.

This will be the first and last divorciversary I mention.  It’s done, over, finito.

I’m on to bigger and better!

Everyone seems to be writing about where they were on 9/11 so I thought I’d jump on the bandwagon.

I remember it clear as day.  My boyfriend (now ex-husband) had spent the night and was asleep.  I had gotten up to get ready for work and turned the TV on while I was ironing.  A “Breaking News” item came through that one of the twin towers was on fire.

I remember thinking how much that would suck when Peter Jennings came on the broadcast.  Something about the fire being caused by a plane.

All of a sudden, a second plane appeared.  I remember Jennings saying “Is that plane going towards the second tower?”.  With horror, I watched it crash into the second tower.

I woke up Matt.  He saw the look on my face and knew something was wrong.  I could only blurt out that some just flew a plane into the World Trade Center.

We sat there in disbelief.  Then the plane flew into the Pentagon.   Then came the rumors that downtown LA was next.   At the time, I had to drive through downtown to get to work.  I called work and said I was too upset to come in.

After we calmed down a bit, Matt & I went to IHOP for breakfast.  Pasadena was so quiet.  There were a lot of families – kids and parents not in school or work – in IHOP.   Like we all just needed to get away.

Two years ago, Matt  & I went to the site of the World Trade Center.  They were clearing out the area, making room for the memorial and new buildings.  It just felt grim there.  Then we went to the temporary memorial.  What got me was the room with all of the pictures of the loved ones that died.  Especially the benches and boxes of Kleenex for those still in grief.

I don’t think there is any way that we can forget what happened that day.

As you can tell I’m ho-hum about the holiday.  I mean, woo-hoo, proud to be an american is all but I think I’ve reached that age of longing for how things used to be.

I remember we would get a pile of “Safe & Sane” fireworks and the whole neighborhood would be outside lighting things up.  BBQs, the whole nine yards.  Some years we would go up to my grandparent’s house in No Cal and light fireworks, go fishing and have homemade banana ice cream.  Real Norman Rockwell type stuff.

This year, I went to breakfast and the movies (Public Enemies – long and boring) with my mom, then took a nap and now I’m settled in, watching reruns of tv shows on hulu.com and about to start working for the rest of the night.   I may hear fireworks somewhere.

I feel like next year I need to travel to some small town with fireworks and a small town parade.

Or maybe I could go to Disneyland.

*sigh*

Anyway, back to work.

Happy 4th of July.

God Bless America.

I miss you.

Happy Father’s Day to all of the other fathers out there

including my little bro